


Let Me Grow Old and Stay Young With You

by themuffintitan



Category: South Park
Genre: Actually something I'm going to finish!!!, Cryde!!!, FLUFF!!, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-10
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-04-08 17:40:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4314357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themuffintitan/pseuds/themuffintitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story in which Clyde does everything he possibly can to make Craig happy because he undoubtedly loves him to death. Craig doesn't have to know though because Clyde can make him happy just fine without him knowing. He's known him since preschool, so he has this in the bag.</p><p>In which Clyde Donovan is actually based off me so it's kind of an easy way to make my writing better. True stories no matter how fictional they seem. Enjoy my stupid writing. Huazzah! *throws sparkles*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Grow Old and Stay Young With You

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a one-shot but it ended up being a whole lot longer than i wanted it to be, so it's going to have multiple chapters, but guess what, you don't have the long, time consuming beginning! The story starts right off with Clyde, the storyteller, and how he came to randomly have the biggest outburst of feelings for his best friend. I wouldn't say much drama will happen because I don't really have the story planned out at all lmao
> 
> I've attempted multi-chapter fics before and for proof that I suck at them you should see the jeanmarco christmas fic i promised to update once everyday until christmas. It has one chapter.
> 
> Also, this should be easy because it's in Clyde's POV and most of the stupid adventures these kiddos will go on are true stories. I won't be telling you what is and what isn't though, so eh. This is probably annoying, so let's get to the point.
> 
> This chapter features Clyde explaining his traumatic past ( two years ago ) of when he was thirteen and oblivious. This however does include Clyde being a dumb 7 year old and listening to Katy Perry with his sister idfk and Craig is a little doof who almost barely appears in this first chapter but is sure enough described thoroughly by Clyde himself. Then they take a romantic walk and do gay stuff by the pond i don't know they probably skinny dipped or fucking something.  
> Enjoy

Craig has been my best friend for a long time now. Craig has got a lot of friends he’s close to, but to me, Craig is the only one I’m close to, so I declare him my best friend. End of story.

New beginning. Clyde Donovan, the great linebacker who claimed the place as number 1 cutest boy ( according to all the boy crazy females in class that year ) in fourth grade. He dated Bebe Stevens, claimed to be the hottest girl in Mr. Garrison’s class, for two years when he was just in elementary school. He’s basically a chick magnet. And he knows. I know.

Heyo, my name is Clyde Donovan. I’ve hung around my best friend Craig Tucker since I was in preschool, so his weird thing for writing his own monologues and experiences has rubbed off on me. Of course, his writing is usually sarcastic. Me, at least for now, that isn’t really the case.  I’m Clyde Donovan and I thought I was straight. You’ve probably noticed how I’ve discussed my relationship with Craig twice in these first two paragraphs. Catching on?

I don’t really know how to explain what happened or what caused all of this. Well, nothing can really cause me to feel this way… People are born that way, right? Sexuality is like, a spectrum, I guess. I don’t know. I really don’t know. Just hang in here with me, I can do this. I think.

I’m not against it. That alone makes me sounds like the biggest asshole in the world so, I’ll just say I’m not used to it. Myself, that is. I love Craig. I always have. He is the closest friend I have ever had in my life, despite it only being 15 years long as of now. He is like family. My parents practically have a second son knowing how much he’s over at my house. Same for me at the Tucker’s. I love him like he is the biggest part of my family. I have a warm, mellow, family-like love for him like a baby has for its mother every second of my life. Like my twin brother, who’s almost the complete opposite and completely identical to me at the same time. He’s my best friend.

So, of course, when Craig makes his way through my bedroom window like he normally does every weekend to spend the night, flops on my bed next to me, hugs one of my pillows, and proceeds to tell me at approx. 1:00 am that he thinks he has the hots for Stan Marsh, I’m gonna support him. He can love who he wants. I’ve known for 4 years that Craig is gay. Ever since he’s shared this information with me I have never had a problem with it. I’m almost not even neutral about it. I’m supportive of him. Never once have I had the thought, “ Oh shit, what if he falls in love with me?” I’m not that stereotypical of a white boy. I’m not against it. I love Craig and there’s no way something like that could ruin that.

There is, although, in every possible way that could enhance my feelings for Craig. Not exactly the fact that he is completely gay, confirmed by his later relationship with Kenny or my questioning of him being “ homosexual or possibly in the middle? “ and his reply being “ homosexual. “ If anything, it would be the thing that pushed me to believe I’m not broken and that I’m perfectly capable of loving my best friend. I thought for the longest time I was straight. I told myself this forever, told all my classmates and friends that I’m only interested in females, and that’s how it’s always been. I’ve grown up as a little Roman Catholic who had their first communion in a little tuxedo when he was seven, who prays before family dinners. In kindergarten I would listen to Katy Perry with my older sister with no regrets and my mom would catch me singing “ I Kissed A Girl “ around the house thinking it was the cutest thing until the lyrics, “ Hope my boyfriend don’t mind it, “ slip without any bad intentions, and end up getting my sister banned from that song as it influenced behavior like that on me, despite me being a little innocent boy and the song about drunk lesbians or something. It was drilled into my head that I wasn’t gay, and I wouldn’t ever be. That’s just how I thought.  So the thought of that same little kid falling for his best friend 9 years later is a little surprising. As well as very startling to me, being the victim and all.

I think about Craig a whole lot. I’m used to it. The realization that I might be falling for him almost put me into a dizzy spell, like when you stand up too quickly and you start seeing stars and patterns, except it was all Craig. Actually, nevermind. That’s a stupid way to put it. He popped into my head more often than usual. I would constantly remind myself that I’ve done this since I’ve grown so incredibly close to him; wondering where he is, if he’s okay, if he’ll laugh at this dumb mmm whatcha say compilation I made when I was sleep deprived. The amount of Craig multiplied and fucking exploded throughout my brain. I dreamt about him. I texted him to see what he was doing. I made sure he ate enough and drank plenty of water when he came over to spend the night. I think it might have creeped him out. I also think this is the reason why I had my doubts on telling him how I felt.

This all happened months before anything actually happened. I was still oblivious to my emotions, I declared that maybe I felt that way, but it was most likely hormones. At the time, I was 13. I felt ahead of my time. I was over my crazy arguments with my mom when I was ten. My acne started to disappear by the time I was twelve. My hormones pushed me through. I was practically an adult. Right now, I’m 15 years old and on the brink of letting salty tears run down my face at the cartoon woman in the Abilify commercials because she’s so beautiful why the hell does she have to go through that kind of depression. Here I am, my hormones kicking my 13 year old self’s balls up in. Up yours, chubby. You’re fucking gay as hell for your buddy Craig right there. Best you not deny yourself for a year and a half. But I shouldn’t be blaming the past. I’ve mentioned it so many times, I think it would be appropriate to explain how I finally came to confirm my feelings for Craig. Oh boy, get ready for a roller coaster of what you could call 15 year old Clyde’s mind. Really, this entire story is an emotional roller coaster so maybe it won’t be too different from what I’ve explained to you already.

**  
**

* * *

**  
**

I’ve already explained how at around 13 I was in crazy denial, I actually believed myself when I said that I’ve felt the same way about him since I met him, completely romance-free. This was difficult to tell myself however, for I had been confused about not just romantic feelings for Craig since before I was even in junior high.

Craig can surely act cold, sarcastic, and sometimes just be a plain jerk. everybody who has come across him once in their life knows that. I, for one, know it’s just a common greeting from him to other people he doesn’t know or care about. It’s his first impression. If you’re lucky enough, like me or some other people like Tweek and Token and even Jimmy, you can break down the weird walls he puts up if you knock on them enough. He has used this analogy for as long as I remember knowing him, claiming he absolutely hates it. Especially the fact that an idiot like me was the first one to do so. I always find myself chuckling at least a bit whenever he brings it up, not only because it makes me seem like a macho prince coming to rescue some asshole princess from beyond the walls by busting them down with a giant sledgehammer ( this is what goes on in my head when he explains this. ), I don’t even really remember having to break those walls down. I guess I just saw Craig as a perfect target for a friend one day and took the chance. But I don’t really remember. Maybe he approached me. Maybe the reason he hates it is because I caught him being a dumbass and flashing a little bit of his exciting personality and came running in like a stallion before it went away and now I’m stuck inside forever.

That wouldn’t be a bad thing. Craig’s personality is probably the most interesting, I’ll be it confusing, thing you could ever lay your eyes on. If you looked at him from across the hallway you wouldn’t be able to tell his favorite song is “Single Ladies,” and likes to sew little hats and t-shirts for his pet guinea pigs. You wouldn’t know that the only ways you can make him cry is to 1. bring up something personal, I mean come on, everyone has something to cry about in their personal life. and 2. sit down and watch disney movies with him. Mrs. Tucker has a video of him screaming into a pillow on the floor for about 20 minutes after watching Big Hero 6 that I unfortunately haven’t seen yet.  You wouldn’t know he has a passion for baking cupcakes and can laugh to the point where he snorts only causing him to laugh more. That he will unironically buy himself booty shorts and say they’re “ for his girlfriend’s birthday “ despite his sexuality. You wouldn’t know that he is an absolute SUCKER for cuddling. That’s an important bit.

Having the same person as a best friend since you were in preschool can cause you t learn a whole lot about someone, not to mention the relationship is probably pretty special. I learnt about Craig’s sudden liking to snuggling up to people, even his friends, around fourth grade. I didn’t think anything of it besides really nice. I realized I really liked it as well. In our little group kids at school call “Craig’s gang” learned to treat cuddling as mainly platonic gesture, and we’ve lived with it for like, 7 years now. Usually it’s just the arms around each other and a whole lot of hugging, but it’s what we’re used to. What I’m used to. You can see where my confusion as a thirteen year old, five years into this cuddling thing, came from. Now, this is pretty much where the confirmation of my crush began, around the time I was fourteen.

I remember this moment very clearly and all my thoughts rummaging through it. It was honestly the biggest ( and quite possibly the most embarrassing) milestone I made. This was about a year after I had started to have ideas that I might be on a thin line between what society calls love and friendship. I was still in that zone. South Park is known for it’s terrible snowy mountain weather, but I almost wish it wasn’t. My little experience took place right at the beginning of spring. The grass was in it’s perfect state, not wet and soggy from all the melted snow, and not drenched and smelly after it rains. It was just before rainy season, soft and flat. Perfect bedding if you want to sit and stare at the clouds. One of Craig’s rare interests was walks around the neighborhood as well. I don’t know for sure if this is a thing he’s only done with me, but we’ve basically memorized our routes in the neighborhood for when we just want to wander around and talk. It’s calming, nice and boring. Stereotypical Craig activity. This one was nice because the air was crisp and a delight to inhale as it was no longer contaminated with flu season, or chapped your lips or something. The trees you see surrounding the town are colorful with flowers and both  Craig and I really enjoy them ( except those fucking white blossoms that smell awful. My street is always littered with white petals for weeks even after the leaves sprout back. They’re like the only thing I’m allergic to. I will walk outside and the putrid smell will fill my nostrils and I’ll finally realize why I woke up feeling like shit that morning. Seriously fuck those white flowers ).

“You wanna head to the pond? We’ve been wandering for a while, dude. We should stop for a bit,” I tell him. This was awkward considering it wasn’t usual we stopped somewhere to rest, especially  Stark’s Pond. That was where Stab and his friends usually hung out. Not that we cared, it was just never in our interest to go there, but we had been walking and talking for a good hour already. Craig looked at me, but didn’t seem to question my offer. He looked ahead again and muttered an agreement.

The pond isn’t surprisingly covered in petals from Satan’s white spring blossoms, but leaves room for the muggy water to reflect the warmth back towards the sky, painting colors from the  golden sun rays and wringed looking stratus clouds above our heads. My eyes graze the environment for a place to lay down when a little space at the side of the water between two birch trees catches my interest. Craig seems to notice too, I watch him appear into my vision from my side and make a beeline for the little patch of nature’s pillow and flop down on his back. I sigh in relief of finding a place to rest my legs. The closer I get to Craig the more I’m reminded of how this little spot looks like the perfect place to take prom pictures. The sun sets right in between the trees and they don’t seem to get blossoms, but the others surrounding the pond seem to give the picture plenty of warm colors. I keep that in my mental checklist.

I plop myself down to the right of Craig and sit flat at my back, looking at the sky. I exhale slowly. I’m tired. We had went to sleep pretty late last night playing xbox and doing impressions over the microphone in call of duty to piss people off. Craig does an amazing Barack Obama impression that had me in tears on the floor. It probably wouldn’t have been as funny if it wasn’t two in the morning and the little kid we tried to fool woke his mother up saying he was playing call of duty with the president. That was around the time we stopped and went to sleep on my bed.

The setting is extremely relaxing. No one is here at the pond as of now, and the few people that do some here are some parents and their kids from the elementary. They don’t pay much attention to us, Craig rolled over on his side facing away from me while I listened in on the breeze erupting in my ears and the little kids chasing each other around. I remember turning my head to watch them play around. A little boy and his older sister were playing around near the edge of the pond while their mother spoke with someone on the phone.

“We’re fishing!! Fishing! Fishing!” the boy started to sing and laugh as he scooped some nasty moss out of the pond with a stick, trying to get his mom’s attention with it. His sister eventually joins in giggling with her own little twig, both triumphantly attempting to show their mother their “capch.” It’s absolutely adorable and I smile, recognizing their innocence as Craig and I’s when we were really little. I shift my head forward and close my eyes, breathing slowly again.

My relaxation was interrupted the slightest bit when out of nowhere Craig decides to roll himself over and snuggle up against my side and rest his head on my chest. I’m startled and flinch a little bit at his sudden movements, but immediately try to steady my breathing again.

 _This is nice,_ I think to myself.  I haven’t been this calm in a long time. Sure enough, neither has Craig. I want to mention school. It’s almost over. Countless nights of procrastination and studying. Before high school, I hadn’t studied a day in my life. Not even an hour out my time was taken out of my time to use those flashcards we spent a class period making to study the elements in 6th grade. They sat at the bottom of my backpack until I found the little ziplock bag with their contents later in the year. Now I have no knowledge of what the hell I’m supposed to do. Many of the students in our class this year could admit they’ve stayed up night after night doing whatever they can call learning. I couldn’t believe in like two months I could sleep for a full twelve hours if I wanted to. Craig, who was still up against my side, was probably already sleeping, so I didn’t speak anything of it. It’s really nice having your train of thought stay on one topic, nothing there to worry you , just puffing slowly. Nothing was there to suddenly set your thoughts on fire and shoot adrenaline through your veins for your heart to start beating faster. Heartbeat. Heartbeat.

_He’s listening to your heartbeat._

The idea, as I explained to be very, very, startling, was so incredibly forceful on my relaxed body that my thoughts when on a riot. The little file cabinet in my brain labeled “Craig “ which was organized and untouched just a second ago had papers flying every which way like someone used the wrong wand to cast a spell on it. My conscious went into panic mode. To this day, I can barely recollect my emotions in that very moment.

_Dude!! Calm your tits you’ve gotta chill! oh SHIT you’re freaking out like a fucking chihuahua. But isn’t he going out with Stan?? You’ve gotta fucking respect that, Craig’s gotta fucking respect that oh my god- it’s just a friendly gesture, you’ve done this forever. But why is he falling asleep to the sound of your heart what a fucking sap. It’s kind of sweet. But.. but it’s wrong? Kind of… Stan should know about the whole cuddling thing? Does he care? Does he even care for cuddling his boyfriend? He is the biggest jock ever, maybe it’s just girls he feels that way. I don’t know!! He can hear your heartbeat as far as you know the heart is near the left side of the chest and his head is resting on the left side of your chest I suggest you calm down before he realizes you’re FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. Christ you have never sworn so much in a matter of minutes. Just.. this was his choice! Yeah! If he wants this you give it to him because it’ll make him happy.  Didn’t he tell you the relationship was complicated? If anything happens, it technically isn’t your fault. Unless, you like put your arm around him or something. You’re used to doing that. You’re most definitely not used to your best friend listening to your fucking heartbeat though. Fuck, you wanna put your arm around him. Jesus fucking christ you want to so bad. You know what? Do it. Do it don’t be a pussy you’re not like that you’re used to romance. Not really. You’ve only dated Bebe and she did that for shoes or something. Who am I kidding you don’t fucking know romance. Who the hell said this was romance this is just a platonic trip to the pond, right? Right? Shit, just stop freaking out or he’ll get ideas that you’re nervous af. Why are you nervous? There’s no reason to be nervous. It’s just Craig. It’s alright. Just, calm down. Wow, look at that. You did it. You put that arm right around his back that’s great. Keep that up, tiger. You go. Be the eligible boyfriend._

There it was. My heart immediately went from slow, to fucking “GOTTA GO FAST,” to just full out stopping. Nothing really happened besides my best friend rolling over, and resting his head to hear my pulse. I told you this was only going to be an emotional roller coaster. My heart doing strange shit after a little gesture like that was only the start of reasons I used in that moment to confirm that holy SHIT, the gaydar is pointing straight at my oblivious white face. As you can see by that huge paragraph of my mini panic session, it was a huge shock. But, believe it or not, it was also a huge relief for me. I guess I just decided that enough was enough.

_Shit. You really do like him, don’t you?_

It couldn’t be that bad? This could be fun. All these thoughts erupted in my head as soon as that little idea of one day being his boyfriend bought itself a ticket on my train of thought. It was going on a long trip. There was no sound, movement that could be noticeable to me as long as I sat there with Craig at my side. It was peaceful. The flowers sprouting everywhere had a beautiful scent that made my thoughts sweeter. A little wind chill ran its fingers through my hair, and I sighed. Craig shivered and pulled the strings of his hat down, curling himself into my side.

_He’s cute. Don’t blame yourself. Hold on, don’t you fucking dare think about kissing his head you sly basta-_

 

“It’s getting cold out. Did you wanna head back?” Craig shifted his head upward as if he could face me while still having his head rest in this position. My little excited thoughts sunk, but it was getting cold. I just didn’t really know because I was sweating from basically setting myself on fire inside. Craig sat up and looked around and back to me, awaiting an answer. His eyes were droopy like he was still half-asleep.

“Aw, I was just about to fall asleep,” I half-lied. It was nice and I did feel sleepy but only for the last thirty seconds of that crazy moment. How long were we laying like that?

Craig chuckled. He rubbed his eye and made his hand back to scratch his head. His sleepy smile made me only want to stay more. He stood up, wobbly legs struggling to hold him up. He reached out a hand and offered to pull me up. My ankles pushed me up to standing position. We made our legs to the sidewalk without a word. I wanted to do that again. I wanted to sit there for hours, just quiet, huddled together. There was no way I’d let a moment like that go to waste. This started something big for me. I guess I had liked him for about a year already. Whenever he’d laugh my stomach would do weird things and I’d just blow it off as nothing. My weird obsession of constantly concerning his happiness was just friendship up until now. he’d send me random picture like, “ Holy hell I woke up and was attractive for once, “ and it’d make me really, really happy. I’ve only just stopped my bullshit, why the hell would something rare and warm that is this very moment go to waste? I’d sure as hell want to do that again. Just think about how lucky I am to even have a crush who’s willing to snuggle up against your side and allow you to wrap your arm around them when they don’t even realize how you feel? This is only the beginning, I want to appreciate that before I decide it’s been long enough and decide to tell him. Who knows? Maybe he’ll fall for me the same way I fell for him. I catch myself smiling as I shove my hands in my pockets.

“ I.. I really liked that. It was relaxing. We’ve got to do that again, “ That was a stupid way to put it, but I’m positive I was high on romance. At least I was straightforward.

Craig didn’t answer at first. He just hummed along in agreement.

“Yeah. It was nice. I think I did actually fall asleep,” Craig stared down at his feet as he said this. I don’t think he knows this, but I’ve known him since he was 4 years old.

Of course I know he’s smiling beneath that messy hunk of black hair. He can’t hide it from me.

I feel my stomach flip as he notices I’m looking at him, and he snaps his head back up straight. His eyes were planted on the space in front of him, but I still catch him when his sapphire eyes glance over at my green. They dart back and forth and he bites his lip, it’s obvious he’s trying not to smile. That only makes me smirk. This is the so-called “communication without words” people describe using with their friends or family.

Craig eventually gets embarrassed and angry the longer I stare at him and mutters, “Shut-UP,” and makes me bust out laughing. The moment might have been awkward, but I can honestly tell you that I didn’t feel anything remotely similar to awkward or weird. If anything, I was excited. Maybe having a crush on your best friend would be fun? I can make him smile like that already, so what would be so hard? I never really had many crushes on people, and if I did they were stressful and stupid because I had no chance. I knew nothing about them. They were all girls.

I’ve been doing this for a while now, so maybe I’ll absolutely love showing Craig how much he means to me, if that makes him feel special. I don’t even have to tell him how I feel. While I’ll probably want to do that someday, I don’t have to as long as he’s happy, and that’s something I can do.

_Yeah, this should be fun._

**Author's Note:**

> I would've posted this earlier, but then my friend took me to jurassic world so i wouldn't expect a chapter tomorrow because holy fucking shit, dinosaurs. anyway, i hope you enjoyed my shitty writing there will be more to come i promise this time but for now I have to go play with my dog because she needs happiness right now
> 
> thank you for reading  
> also, this isn't revised but I'm pretty sure everything seems okay, if not please let me know and i'll fix it >-0/***


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